Who are Every Heron?

#UnscienceAnAnimal - The Grey Heron

We're nowhere and everywhere. Notice just one of us and from then on you will find us at every bend in the river, length of the canal, ripple on the beach and twist of the wooded bay. All it takes is that first encounter.

Then all you will be able to do is stop and stare. There is much to discover:

Supersonic nose cone - The Heron nose cone will reach supersonic speeds as it slices through air, water, reed, weed, fish. The colouring of the nose cone, fading from Heron Tip to Heron Lore is simply for looks, the Heron equivalent of Go Faster Stripes.

Spear of destiny - Self-explanatory if you have ever been on the end of Heron strike. There are reports that the only top 15 song by the band Spear of Destiny can be heard in the sonic boom as the spear reaches supersonic speeds. That song? Never Take Me Alive.

Eel twirler - The eel is the most challenging of Heron foe. Eel will wrap and unwrap and entangle and unentangle refusing its destiny. The twirler was evolved to handle such troublesome dinners and works much as a spaghetti fork.

One way fishslide of doom - Down this slide swim fish, eels, frogs, rats, voles, ducklings (sorry), cootlets, and more. It's a thrilling ride where life as seen by Heron flies in front of the eyes. It ends in a peaceful silence.

Mild disdain for every living creature - Heron lives across eleven dimensions and pities those who only see the world in 2 dimensions through their screens. Heron hope to teach Human through baby steps. First the Third dimension of outdoor: Wind on the face, cloud scudding above, lapping water around the feet. Then onto the Fourth - time - looking back to slower times and forward in imagination of life when Human truly learns to appreciate the beauty of Nature, and the absolute dependence Humankind has upon it. See Lesson to Humanity.

Heronhood - The way of the heron is known as Heronhood. Every heron life starts with its Heronhood baked in. The culmination of the thought-work of millions of herons before, each heron departs life leaving Heronhood enhanced by its singular life. Heronhood is the basis of everything Heron.

Mind palace - The heron can explore its surroundings from all angles, at all times and within all dimensions of eleven-dimension spacetime. 5 minutes before it happens it can follow the story of a creature to that creature's death and journey down its fishslide of doom. Its patience is based on this predictive knowledge: It knows dinner is on its way. Sherlock Holmes is the only Human to have developed anything like this capability and he's fictional. Says it all.

Mindfulness - Heron is intimately aware of every feather, every breezed flicker of its plume, every mote in the eye and every grain under its toe. It is grounded and anchored into Reality from where it may safely reach out into all other dimensions - into Liminiality - without fear of becoming detatched nor lost. It knows it can handle everything. It has before and it will again. Humans can learn much from that attitude. See Lesson to Humanity.

The Lore - To anatomists (who need to chill a little and stand back and appreciate the whole effect of Heron) the lore is the region between the eye and bill on the side of a heron's head. In reality it is the site, beside the all seeing eye, where heron myth, fable, and legends are generated and stored. Full name: Heron Lore.

Brain size of a Planet (only Douglas Adams knew) - Heron knows all. Passed down through millions of years Heron knowledge is distributed and accessible to all Heronkind. It is there, waiting for Humankind, if only they would just ... stop ... just a moment .... stop. See Lesson to Humanity.

Multi-purpose head plume - The head plume allows Heron to communicate with Heronkind both of this planet Earth and of its mother planet within the Heron Galaxy.

Chest tresses - The measure of wisdom. The longer the tresses the older the Heron the wiser the Heron the more you need to get to know them.

Pure heart - Heron only lives, wonders, notices, appreciates, and loves. To love is simple.

Ultimate patience - Heron is patience. Heron is waiting. Heron is stillness. Heron is infinity. Heron is time. Stopped.

Lesson to humanity - A heron embodies a whole school-year of lessons for Humankind. You only need to put your phone away, stop and linger awhile and imbibe.

Ultimate curve - The curve of Heron wing has never been successfully described. With the softest surface and stealth coating it shimmers and flexes between dimensions, allowing Heron to enter liminal worlds as it flies out of the sunrise and into the sunset.

Softest surface on the planet - The Heron's flight is silent as silence can be. That is achieved by an infinitely soft surface which air never notices, winds fly around, and sound waves pass through. Stare into the Heron feature and you will lose yourself - they are as deep as time.

Stealth coating - See softest surface on the planet.

The original 50 Shades of Grey - The Greys, as the Grey Herons are known, are a kaleidoscope of grey. The human eye can see perhaps 7 shades of grey. The Grey Heron see in 24-bit grey and can see 16 million shades of grey. Each of those shades has a name. What Human were thinking when they tried to write a book on the topic is anyone's guess.

Rocket powered poop engine - All that thinking and hunting has to have a release valve somewhere. Advisory notice: Do not stand behind a heron taking off, beneath a heron in its nest, in front of a heron doing a 180 deg turn, beside a heron being surprised.

Monopod / bipod system - A heron may choose to stand on two legs or one leg. The one leg look is perfect for the artful shot and keeps it toasty and warm. Revealing a tiny tip of claw between the feathers can scare the be-jeepers out of any human.

Tree climbers, slippers, waders, prowlers - Heron is at home in water as it is in tree. On sandy beaces as it is in squelchy marshland. In raging torrents as it is on the diving board of swimming pools. These multi-functional feet get it there, hold it there and never let it go. See Mindfulness.

Comb toe - The secret weapon behind the "Heron Look". Specialised feathers break down into a powder-down similar to talc. And like talc it mixes with grease on the feathers bringing it together into lumps. These lumps are removed using the comb toe - the middle toe.

Knee - The Heron knee lives inside the heron.

Ankle - The Heron ankle lives where the knee should be. Why do something predictable when something surprising is more fun.

More to enjoy:
The Herons - Awards 2020 |
The heron speaks |
A lean, pale, bird shaking the cinders from its wings rose from the ashes |
Billy the Spar Heron of Aberdaron |
Prehistoric Heron |
The Heron in Art